The Return of the Lost Wedding Dress

The Return of the Lost Wedding Dress

Five years ago, I discovered that my wedding dress, photo albums, and a few fragile items with sentimental value ended up in a dumpster somewhere in Atlanta, Georgia.It wasn't my choice to throw away my beloved sentimental items but that of our property management company. I discovered it long after it had happened, so there was nothing to do but accept what happened and move on.I tried to rationalize away my sadness and to make sense of the grief I was feeling over *things*. Afterall, nobody was sick, nobody had died, but I was still heartbroken over this loss. Sentimentality is expensiveWhen it comes to sentimentality, highly mobile people select their "must have" items very carefully. Each relocation costs money and each box packed represents only the items we "must have" or what we think we must have when we move to a new place.During every relocation, boxes are lost or damaged. Basements flood and houses catch on fire—my wedding dress...
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Celebrating the Tired, the Hopeful, and the Dedicated Midwives

Celebrating the Tired, the Hopeful, and the Dedicated Midwives

 "Midwives? What is this, the 1400s? Do I have a feudal master to whom I pay monthly tithes in grain?"To say the least, my husband was unenlightened when it came to childbirth practices. He has since come a long way in a short time, but we were young(er) and stupid(er) back then, and he had never heard of a midwife delivering babies—doctors did that, duh.Optimistically pregnant for the first time, I chose my midwifery practice based on the advice of my friend who was also a midwife. We met in grad school and bonded over cheap beer and stupid men (those bonds last a lifetime, really)."This midwifery practice delivers at Northside. You'll be in good hands there," she reassured me. I knew she wouldn't lead me astray. She had my best interests at heart and knew these women personally.And so, I registered with Atlanta, Georgia's Northside Hospital—or Atlanta's well-known "Baby Factory" that delivers over 18,000 babies each year. If anything...
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Growing Up the Saban Way

Growing Up the Saban Way

By Kelsi Folsom "The practice of gratitude and fortitude will never be an unfruitful one, and is, I think, one of the greatest gifts of living abroad."         Ask anyone if they have ever heard of Saba, and most likely you will hear, “No, where is that?” To which I reply, “Well, it’s a five-square mile volcanic island of fewer than 1,800 people located in the Dutch Caribbean. It's home to the shortest commercial runway in the world, one of the most difficult medical schools, and the highest geographical point in the Netherlands. Want to grab lunch?” Saba is a charming mix of cultures. Although currently a Dutch protectorate, the language spoken is primarily English (with Dutch, Saba English, and a sprinkling of Spanish). There are the “expat locals” (American, Canadian, Scandinavian, European, Filipino, and others I have yet to interact with) and the “born and raised locals” (descendants of great sea-captains, pirates, shipbuilders, fishermen, and slaves) in addition to the 500 or so...
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Meeting the Parents…Without the Boyfriend

Meeting the Parents…Without the Boyfriend

 Guest post by Carrie Elizabeth Akarslan  You wouldn’t normally meet your boyfriend’s parents by going on a twelve-day tour of Japan together. Of course, our relationship doesn’t follow the “normal context, ” and so this is a story about how I met my Turkish boyfriend’s parents for the first time.I grew up on a small ranch in Oregon, riding horses and shoveling manure. I walked to school and went to church most Sundays. My family later moved to Connecticut, and after college, I moved to Florida for the warm weather and relaxed lifestyle. I lived in a city with a population of roughly 40,000, and this felt like a city to me. Several years later, feeling the need for a new adventure, I found myself alone on the small island of Roatan, off the coast of Honduras. I was considering a position teaching at an international school there so I decided to take a vacation to Roatan to learn how it’d feel...
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Can expat spouses ever be equal?

Can expat spouses ever be equal?

In case you missed it on Facebook, here is my discussion about expat partner career, how we define equality in partnerships, and why communication is vital.   Link to Alix Carnot's data on expat spouses from her 2016 survey. Join the closed Tandem Nomads group if you are an expat spouse who can totally relate to this issue. Join the I am a Triangle Facebook group if you are looking for support during expatriation, repatriation, or anything in between....
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7 Ways Swedish Women Can Revolutionize Your Life Today

7 Ways Swedish Women Can Revolutionize Your Life Today

  You know what they say, "You can't know where you're going until you know where you've been." In honor of Women's History Month, I am highlighting seven largely unknown Swedish female revolutionaries from history. Okay, one of them is really really well known but the women are probably new names for most of you. Sweden, the first feminist government in the world, has feminist actions and beliefs dating back to the 17th century. It was recently ranked the best country in the world for women and it didn't get there without the help of some famous women throughout history. The Law of Jante, common in Scandinavian cultures, diminishes the importance of individuality and focuses on merging with the herd culture. Every single woman listed below fought against the status quo and subsequently, changed expectations for what women could accomplish. From saints to anarchists, Swedish women have been breaking the mold for hundreds of years. After learning a bit of their history, I challenge each one of you to...
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Heading Back During A Tumultuous Time

Heading Back During A Tumultuous Time

  I'm about to get on a plane for 12 hours and fly straight into the face of the unknown.   I'm not heading in for a family trip, holiday, or celebration. I'm making this difficult, time-consuming trek because I feel compelled. Something is pulling me. I must go.   New friends, old friends, and whoever I meet along the way will all be a part of this wave of energy. A hopeful turn of the tides. A show of change, positivity, and unity.   I have witnessed firsthand what women can accomplish when they organize. It is empowering, bold, and beautiful. When we set aside our differences and focus on our commonalities, we can break down barriers. Build bridges.   Discover how we are the same and the differences no longer seem to matter. We may define "best" for our families differently and approach it in various ways—there is no one path in life—but we are all trying our best.   My good friend, Clara Wiggins, talks about the uncertainty...
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Juggling Expectations Of Loved Ones At Home With Responsibilities Abroad

Juggling Expectations Of Loved Ones At Home With Responsibilities Abroad

This is the fifth post in the Global Women Discuss Love, Loss, and Family Abroad series and deals with juggling family expectations and life abroad. So far in this series, we have discussed moving abroad with children, balancing careers and family,  dealing with the loss of loved ones while living abroad, and getting everyone on board before you uproot.   Mansi: Moving abroad, leaving behind things that you are comfortable and familiar with, is always tough. As if juggling your life wasn’t hard enough by itself, you must also now worry about maintaining all your relationships back home while forging new ones simultaneously. What do you do then? If you’re anything like me, you’ll have tons of friends, but may not always be as good at keeping in touch with them as you’d like to be. Especially for the strugglers out there, the first thing that I have personally found helpful is to do some mental weeding. It does sound harsh, but the unfortunate...
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How To Deal With The Loss Of Loved Ones Abroad

How To Deal With The Loss Of Loved Ones Abroad

This article about loss is the third in the Global Women Discuss Love, Loss, and Family Abroad series between the women of the Expat Coffee Club and Knocked Up Abroad Again. Be sure to read the first and second articles between these two groups of women. Meet Angelique, who has dealt with the loss of a loved one while living abroad.   Angelique: This year I’ve been hit by a lot of loss. Too often, when a loved one dies, I find myself on the other end of a phone sinking slowly to the floor of a room thousands of miles away from where I feel I should be. Saying goodbye is never easy, whether you’re in the same room or another hemisphere. Modern technology makes it much easier to deal with the latter, certainly. Sea voyagers did not have the option to call home to a sickbed, and often would only find out someone they loved had passed weeks later, upon reaching their destination port. But...
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Getting Everyone On Board When Uprooting Your Family

Getting Everyone On Board When Uprooting Your Family

This is the first in a series of Global Women Discuss Love, Loss, and Family Abroad articles between the two groups of women where they share their questions, fears, and possible anxieties about some of the challenges of creating a family abroad. Great things happen when women come together. Great things, therefore, happen when women collaborate to learn from each others' experiences with motherhood, love, and loss. This series brings together women from Expat Coffee Club who are near or far away from having children with the contributors to the anthology, Knocked Up Abroad Again who became mothers while living in a foreign country. Erin: There's a strange transition time in between referring to the family you grew up in as your "family" and forging a new family of your own. My new family is small, my husband and I, which makes big decisions a bit easier. Only the two of us have to be on board, which made moving away easy...
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